Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
