Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
