how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
