I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
