Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Randomize
