My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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