I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
