The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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