The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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