Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Who did Billy Mays play for?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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