she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
