We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
