Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
