no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Randomize
