And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
