She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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