Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
