READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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