my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
