I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
handjob tips. give me some.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
