just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
