Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
