My nipple is on Facebook.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
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