how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
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