and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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