A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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