No stitches, just platelets and will power
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
you win again, gameday.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
