you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
