i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
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Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
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what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
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