Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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