i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize