sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
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In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
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bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
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