I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
