do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
