you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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