What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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