My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
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A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
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what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
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