Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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