the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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