Three words: puerto rican gang bang
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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