i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
