If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
