Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
