rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Randomize
