so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Randomize
