How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
