he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
