go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
