he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
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