apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
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His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
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Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
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