i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Randomize
