Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
