well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize