I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
