You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
