He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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