If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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