I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
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