I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
