At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize