woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize