Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Jerry, you need to find god
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Randomize