U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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