went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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