You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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