What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
