yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
