:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
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You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
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I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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