This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
