the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
NoShamevember. You game?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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