Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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